I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
His hands were made for my vagina.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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