Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
