I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
