youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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