I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
