You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
