I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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