why didn't you poke me back
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
