She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
