Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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