i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
