I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
