awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We were destined to go to rehab together
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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