Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My balls are so social today.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
