You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
