It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
