College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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