she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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