Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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