I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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