she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
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She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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