and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
