I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
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