oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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