at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
please don't ironically join a cult
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