I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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