I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
