just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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