You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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