whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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