Do you still have your period?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize