She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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