I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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