Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
