i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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