why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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