My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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