I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
