i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
