I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
