I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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