my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
