There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
