so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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