lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
