somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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