I'm eating all of the evidence.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
