I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize