she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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