All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
