fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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