I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
