five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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