So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
