Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
