Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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