So many bounce houses so little time
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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