i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
