She is in my trunk
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
