It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
