There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
