i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
40s are totally the cure
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
