my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
