bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
