I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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