His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Randomize
